Body Positivity: Health at Every Size

Body positivity (BP) is a social movement that encourages people to have an attitude of acceptance for their bodies, no matter their shape, size, or the way they look in clothes.  The goal of this movement is to encourage self-acceptance and the belief that we all deserve respect.  It also challenges society’s beauty standards and attempts to combat body shaming and low self-esteem due to body image issues. The Body Positivity movement is also especially important for those who are overweight … [Read more...]

Helping Adults Cultivate Healthy Friendships

A recent article in the Washington Post by Ana Homayoun (https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../skills-friendship.../) laid out some rules to help parents encourage their children to develop good relationships with their peers. As I read it, I realized that the guidelines she laid out could also apply to adults. Why, you might ask, am I concerned about adults making friends? After all, don’t we already have them? Well, just like with children for whom making friends is a developmental task, as we … [Read more...]

The Tyranny of Body Image

A friend told me recently about a horrible experience she had with a doctor.  She was sick, went to an urgent care, and before she could finish reciting her symptoms to the doctor, he told her she needed to lose weight.  She left there feeling like all he saw was the way her body looked – not that she was truly sick, not that she was smart and organized, not that she was successful – and his reaction fed right into her own struggles:  She had trouble giving herself credit for any of her … [Read more...]

Protecting Your Mental Health

Almost one in five people have a mental health diagnosis, so when most people think of mental health, they think of such things as depression or some type of anxiety.  While those are mental health diagnoses, it is misleading to only think of mental health issues that have already reached a critical level and have caused someone to seek help and get a diagnosis.   Another way to think about mental health is to consider what can be done to promote good mental health or to prevent mental … [Read more...]

Mindful Eating

You have gotten thru the holidays and have determined that you will not get on the scale. You know that your jeans are tight and that is enough to cause you to beat yourself up! This happens every year at the end of December and you also know that making a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet is the wrong thing to do, because it is just one more factor that pressures you to lose weight and eat healthily. And it will not work! The other day, I was going through my emails and didn’t even … [Read more...]

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? For most of us, that is no surprise at this time of year. From Halloween thru Thanksgiving, and then on to the commercial overload of holiday parties and shopping, I hear more about the stresses of the holidays than the joy of them. People feel the need to entertain, plan vacations, buy gifts, cook, and bake, and on top of that – see family! But if you are at your wit's end, and can’t even see that last item on your “to-do” list, try some of the … [Read more...]

Thoughts On Grieving

Recently I read a very slim volume called Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie.  Having grown up in a family where my mother was a widow three times, and where we, as children, lost our father and two stepfathers, grief seemed like a constant in our lives.  As a result, I have always been interested in the effect of parental loss on children and the family, and the degree to which that kind of trauma shapes the future of the family members. I did not expect a lot from Adichie’s 67-page book … [Read more...]

Are You a Perfectionist?

To be perfectionistic means to have very high standards and expectations.  Is that bad, you ask?  Not necessarily.  Although perfectionism can be adaptive when it leads to high productivity and life satisfaction, it can be maladaptive when it leads to being self-critical, angry, or not having a life balance between work and recreation. Joan is an example of someone who does not recognize that she is a perfectionist.  Her children’s clothes must always be ironed and she must look perfect in … [Read more...]

When Feeling Bad Is Good

Many years ago, I read a book by Ellen McGrath with the same title as this blog. McGrath’s focus was on recognizing that the early signs of depression could be a good thing, a warning sign that help is needed. Recently, I revisited this idea since so many people are talking about the depression they feel arising from world and national events that are troubling. I think all of us can agree that war, isolation from a pandemic, and lack of civility in politics does not make the world an easier … [Read more...]

INFIDELITY: You Can Forgive, But Can You Forget?

After infidelity, many people sweep their feelings under the rug. Some people go to couples counseling and work through the issues in the marriage that were causing problems that predated the infidelity. Some people stay married and stay angry. Some actually move on emotionally. Recently I have had several calls from people who have said that although they have stayed in the marriage, forgiven their spouse, and really believe that things are better, they cannot forget the infidelity and just … [Read more...]