A friend told me recently about a horrible experience she had with a doctor. She was sick, went to an urgent care, and before she could finish reciting her symptoms to the doctor, he told her she needed to lose weight. She left there feeling like all he saw was the way her body looked – not that she was truly sick, not that she was smart and organized, not that she was successful – and his reaction fed right into her own struggles: She had trouble giving herself credit for any of her … [Read more...]
Protecting Your Mental Health
May 23, 2023 By
Almost one in five people have a mental health diagnosis, so when most people think of mental health, they think of such things as depression or some type of anxiety. While those are mental health diagnoses, it is misleading to only think of mental health issues that have already reached a critical level and have caused someone to seek help and get a diagnosis. Another way to think about mental health is to consider what can be done to promote good mental health or to prevent mental … [Read more...]
Mindful Eating
January 9, 2023 By
You have gotten thru the holidays and have determined that you will not get on the scale. You know that your jeans are tight and that is enough to cause you to beat yourself up! This happens every year at the end of December and you also know that making a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet is the wrong thing to do, because it is just one more factor that pressures you to lose weight and eat healthily. And it will not work! The other day, I was going through my emails and didn’t even … [Read more...]
Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
December 9, 2022 By
Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? For most of us, that is no surprise at this time of year. From Halloween thru Thanksgiving, and then on to the commercial overload of holiday parties and shopping, I hear more about the stresses of the holidays than the joy of them. People feel the need to entertain, plan vacations, buy gifts, cook, and bake, and on top of that – see family! But if you are at your wit's end, and can’t even see that last item on your “to-do” list, try some of the … [Read more...]
Thoughts On Grieving
October 19, 2022 By
Recently I read a very slim volume called Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie. Having grown up in a family where my mother was a widow three times, and where we, as children, lost our father and two stepfathers, grief seemed like a constant in our lives. As a result, I have always been interested in the effect of parental loss on children and the family, and the degree to which that kind of trauma shapes the future of the family members. I did not expect a lot from Adichie’s 67-page book … [Read more...]
Are You a Perfectionist?
August 12, 2022 By
To be perfectionistic means to have very high standards and expectations. Is that bad, you ask? Not necessarily. Although perfectionism can be adaptive when it leads to high productivity and life satisfaction, it can be maladaptive when it leads to being self-critical, angry, or not having a life balance between work and recreation. Joan is an example of someone who does not recognize that she is a perfectionist. Her children’s clothes must always be ironed and she must look perfect in … [Read more...]
When Feeling Bad Is Good
June 2, 2022 By
Many years ago, I read a book by Ellen McGrath with the same title as this blog. McGrath’s focus was on recognizing that the early signs of depression could be a good thing, a warning sign that help is needed. Recently, I revisited this idea since so many people are talking about the depression they feel arising from world and national events that are troubling. I think all of us can agree that war, isolation from a pandemic, and lack of civility in politics does not make the world an easier … [Read more...]
INFIDELITY: You Can Forgive, But Can You Forget?
May 11, 2022 By
After infidelity, many people sweep their feelings under the rug. Some people go to couples counseling and work through the issues in the marriage that were causing problems that predated the infidelity. Some people stay married and stay angry. Some actually move on emotionally. Recently I have had several calls from people who have said that although they have stayed in the marriage, forgiven their spouse, and really believe that things are better, they cannot forget the infidelity and just … [Read more...]
BODY IMAGE: Are We STILL Worrying About That?
March 28, 2022 By
As someone who has always struggled with her weight, I have, in recent years, focused on eating healthier, doing more walking, and cherishing the extra energy that gives me. What I have not been doing is focusing solely on what the scale says. I was very pleased to see an autobiography from TV star, Valerie Bertinelli, called “Enough Already” about how the actress and food show host is essentially delivering the same message. The nice thing about famous people writing books about popular topics … [Read more...]
Should We Always Be Afraid of Anxiety?
February 23, 2022 By
For most people, anxiety is a burden. It makes them feel as if they cannot control their lives and that they must endure a lot of distress when doing things that make them nervous. In the DSM V, the psychiatrist’s and psychologist’s diagnostic manual, there are 11 different anxiety “disorders.” But, as a recent article by Christina Caron in the New York Times Wellness Advice section shows, there are times when anxiety can actually help us. She acknowledges that too much anxiety can be … [Read more...]