Teaching Equality to your Children

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My mother raised us to believe that all people were equal. It did not matter where you came from, what language you spoke, or what the color of your skin was. This was not surprising for a woman who was the daughter of immigrants and whose parents still talked with an accent.   It was not until I was a freshman in college that I found out that my mother had been taught some serious racial bias. I was horrified. But the good thing was that she knew that the way she felt was wrong, and she did … [Read more...]

“On Our Sleeves” is a movement to transform Children’s Mental Health

On Our Sleeves

I get so many ads a day in my email that I skip most of them. I almost skipped this one from Big Lots, but the picture of a beautiful little child stopped my mouse. She represents an organization called "On Our Sleeves" that supports mental health treatment for children.  One in five children in our country has mental health issues. Many do not get the treatment they need in normal times, no less during the coronavirus pandemic when so many hospitals and mental health clinics are … [Read more...]

Leadership

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Early in March, I received an email about leadership from the consulting firm, KornFerry. I read it and put it aside, not thinking too much about it. Now, almost ten weeks into the coronavirus pandemic “shelter at home” period, I picked it up again. Whether you have your own business, whether you work for someone else, or if you are just observing how our elected officials are leading our country during this time, recognizing good leadership skills can be important. And during a period such as … [Read more...]

Helping Anxious Kids During the Time of Coronavirus

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Most of the time, children are resilient.  They bounce back pretty quickly.  Of course, there are always those kids who have a harder time with change or with difficult circumstances, kids that Dr. Thomas Boyce refers to as the “orchids” in the greenhouse They are the ones who are more sensitive to their environment than usual and require more attention than the average child.  Understanding the Orchid Child    Today, however, it may feel like every child is an orchid.  With the coronavirus … [Read more...]

Stress & Coping in the Time of Coronavirus

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No one needs to tell us that we are stressed about the COVID-19 pandemic. We are all suffering from chronic stress – fatigue, irritability, changes in our eating habits, problems sleeping, difficulty concentrating – because of the uncertainty that this illness brings. And because it has gone on so long, the constant stress disrupts our ability to remember things and pay attention. Just yesterday, a friend put her milk in the freezer instead of in the refrigerator. Another friend called me, sure … [Read more...]

Four Sentences That Lead to Wisdom

Wisdom

I love to read mysteries. Perhaps that is why I like being a psychologist so much. I think of each person as a puzzle with one or two pieces missing and try to figure out how to help each client find the right pieces to become happier, more productive, have better relationships, feel less anxious, or be better at what they do. Recently, I was reading a mystery by Louise Penny and found a few sentences that really got to me. Here they are. … [Read more...]

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Self-Doubt

Meeting

    One of the most interesting dialogues about women today continues to be their pervasive self-doubt, known as Imposter Syndrome.  Many women who have achieved success in business, school, or life in general, still struggle with a belief that they are frauds, that they do not deserve their success, that they have somehow managed to dupe their way up the ladder.  They focus on their failures instead of their successes and internalize negative messages they may get from others. From … [Read more...]

Empathy vs Sympathy

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There are many times when we don’t know what to say. A friend’s spouse is ill, someone doesn’t get the promotion they really wanted, or someone is just having a really down day. We feel stumped and either say nothing or end up saying something we later think is stupid or wrong. In my job teaching medical residents, I work with them on empathy and how to use empathic words. Often, however, what comes out is just “I’m sorry.” When we talk about empathy, we really mean trying to stand … [Read more...]

Self-Care for the Holidays

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You can feel the intensity starting about a week before Thanksgiving. People are beginning to make lists, worry about family gifts, think about how much money to spend, and stress over getting through all of their holiday responsibilities. It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanza, the pressure is on! Once we make it through the non-denominational Thanksgiving dinner, it is almost as if the anxiety about the holidays becomes more prominent than the holiday itself. … [Read more...]

Emotional Intelligence In Business

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   Recently I attended a New Jersey Business and Industry Association Women Leaders Forum. One of the breakout sessions was called “Is Emotional Intelligence a Leader’s Secret Weapon?” While nothing that was said there is new, it is a wonderful reminder that high emotional intelligence (EI) leads to more success in all things: parenting, friendship, volunteer relationships, work success, and personal fulfillment. Why is that? There are four main reasons. • People with higher EI have better … [Read more...]