I love to read mysteries. Perhaps that is why I like being a psychologist so much. I think of each person as a puzzle with one or two pieces missing and try to figure out how to help each client find the right pieces to become happier, more productive, have better relationships, feel less anxious, or be better at what they do. Recently, I was reading a mystery by Louise Penny and found a few sentences that really got to me. Here they are. … [Read more...]
One of the most interesting dialogues about women today continues to be their pervasive self-doubt, known as Imposter Syndrome. Many women who have achieved success in business, school, or life in general, still struggle with a belief that they are frauds, that they do not deserve their success, that they have somehow managed to dupe their way up the ladder. They focus on their failures instead of their successes and internalize negative messages they may get from others. From … [Read more...]
There are many times when we don’t know what to say. A friend’s spouse is ill, someone doesn’t get the promotion they really wanted, or someone is just having a really down day. We feel stumped and either say nothing or end up saying something we later think is stupid or wrong. In my job teaching medical residents, I work with them on empathy and how to use empathic words. Often, however, what comes out is just “I’m sorry.” When we talk about empathy, we really mean trying to stand … [Read more...]
You can feel the intensity starting about a week before Thanksgiving. People are beginning to make lists, worry about family gifts, think about how much money to spend, and stress over getting through all of their holiday responsibilities. It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanza, the pressure is on! Once we make it through the non-denominational Thanksgiving dinner, it is almost as if the anxiety about the holidays becomes more prominent than the holiday itself. … [Read more...]
Recently I attended a New Jersey Business and Industry Association Women Leaders Forum. One of the breakout sessions was called “Is Emotional Intelligence a Leader’s Secret Weapon?” While nothing that was said there is new, it is a wonderful reminder that high emotional intelligence (EI) leads to more success in all things: parenting, friendship, volunteer relationships, work success, and personal fulfillment. Why is that? There are four main reasons. • People with higher EI have better … [Read more...]
Mental health professionals and those who work in mental health associations work hard to convince their clients not to worry about what others think of their mental health diagnosis. There are mental health awareness months and events devoted to understanding mental illness and to reducing the stigma that is so prevalent in our society so that those affected will not be afraid to seek treatment. Recently I came across a blog from England (Reduce Mental Health), which had compiled some … [Read more...]
June is Pride Month, the time when the LGBTQ community celebrates successes in equality, LGBT rights, and the progress and respect that they have fought for and achieved. 2019 is the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising in New York City, which is considered by some to be the beginning of the gay rights movement. There is a lot of visibility with Pride parades, concerts, and parties, and many words spoken about gay marriage, adoption rights, workplace equality, and other issues. … [Read more...]
Mindfulness has become such a hot buzzword, that it is used all the time. People refer to it when they talk about medication, or relaxation, or doing yoga. Recently, I picked up two magazines totally devoted to “Mindfulness” and neither one of them defined what it meant. These publications talked about improving sleep, reducing stress, and even faith, but never defined what mindfulness is. So I thought it was time to do that. Essentially, Mindfulness is awareness or focus on … [Read more...]
Great Words to Live By! André De Shields, the winner of this year's Tony's for "Best-featured actor in a musical", for his performance in Hadestown, shared his three cardinal rules: “One, surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming. Two, slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be. And three, the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next, so keep climbing.” … [Read more...]
Paula is a pretty, bright and talented high school student. She is anxious about going out, even with people she knows, believing she might say the wrong thing or do something to embarrass herself. Sometimes she even worries about whether her friends are really her friends. Shawn is a good athlete. He mostly keeps to himself and has twice turned down chances to be a team captain for soccer. As much as he would like to have fun with the guys on his team, who not only respect his skills on … [Read more...]
