Helping Adults Cultivate Healthy Friendships

A recent article in the Washington Post by Ana Homayoun (https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../skills-friendship.../) laid out some rules to help parents encourage their children to develop good relationships with their peers. As I read it, I realized that the guidelines she laid out could also apply to adults. Why, you might ask, am I concerned about adults making friends? After all, don’t we already have them? Well, just like with children for whom making friends is a developmental task, as we … [Read more...]

Mindful Eating

You have gotten thru the holidays and have determined that you will not get on the scale. You know that your jeans are tight and that is enough to cause you to beat yourself up! This happens every year at the end of December and you also know that making a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet is the wrong thing to do, because it is just one more factor that pressures you to lose weight and eat healthily. And it will not work! The other day, I was going through my emails and didn’t even … [Read more...]

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? For most of us, that is no surprise at this time of year. From Halloween thru Thanksgiving, and then on to the commercial overload of holiday parties and shopping, I hear more about the stresses of the holidays than the joy of them. People feel the need to entertain, plan vacations, buy gifts, cook, and bake, and on top of that – see family! But if you are at your wit's end, and can’t even see that last item on your “to-do” list, try some of the … [Read more...]

Thoughts On Grieving

Recently I read a very slim volume called Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie.  Having grown up in a family where my mother was a widow three times, and where we, as children, lost our father and two stepfathers, grief seemed like a constant in our lives.  As a result, I have always been interested in the effect of parental loss on children and the family, and the degree to which that kind of trauma shapes the future of the family members. I did not expect a lot from Adichie’s 67-page book … [Read more...]

Are You a Perfectionist?

To be perfectionistic means to have very high standards and expectations.  Is that bad, you ask?  Not necessarily.  Although perfectionism can be adaptive when it leads to high productivity and life satisfaction, it can be maladaptive when it leads to being self-critical, angry, or not having a life balance between work and recreation. Joan is an example of someone who does not recognize that she is a perfectionist.  Her children’s clothes must always be ironed and she must look perfect in … [Read more...]