To be perfectionistic means to have very high standards and expectations. Is that bad, you ask? Not necessarily. Although perfectionism can be adaptive when it leads to high productivity and life satisfaction, it can be maladaptive when it leads to being self-critical, angry, or not having a life balance between work and recreation. Joan is an example of someone who does not recognize that she is a perfectionist. Her children’s clothes must always be ironed and she must look perfect in … [Read more...]
Letting Go of Perfect: Letting Go of Perfectionism for Good
January 27, 2016 By
Part 3 of my "Letting Go of Perfect" series. Well, we are not even into Spring and I would bet that most of us have either thrown our New Year’s resolutions in the trash, given up on them, or didn’t even bother to make any. Part of the reason we do that is that they are too big, too hard, and set the bar too high. In many ways our resolutions are a lot like the things we say to ourselves about being perfect. We may try so hard to be perfect, to do things perfectly, to aspire to perfection, … [Read more...]
Letting Go of Perfect: How Perfectionism Hurts Children
December 29, 2015 By
This blog is Part Two of a three-part series on perfectionism. Most parents would feel proud if they thought they had the “perfect” child. But few look at the downside of perfectionism and how striving for it can hurt children. In today’s competitive environment, children cannot just be perfect on paper, amassing a large digital resume good grades and extracurricular activities. They need to have real skills to navigate the ups and down of teacher demands, changing friendships, emotional … [Read more...]
A Stress-Free Holiday… The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself
October 16, 2012 By
It’s Christmas Day. Your teenage son is refusing to emerge from his darkened bedroom because the love of his life (relationship duration: three weeks) has broken up with him. Your favorite cousin has fallen (leapt?) off the wagon right in your living room and upended the rum into the eggnog bowl. It’s no longer “laced” with liquor – it’s positively trussed. And while we’re on trussing: Your turkey – that lovely, fresh 22-pounder you had to pay a proverbial arm and leg for – seems to be cooking … [Read more...]
Childfree at the Holidays…What Gifts Can You Give Yourself?
September 19, 2012 By
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. Every time you turn on the radio or television, your hear carols, talk about shopping, pictures of turkeys roasting, and worst of all, another commercial for the latest hot children’s toy! And along with these never-ending messages comes your own picture of how the holidays ought to be. Whether it is the fantasy that you thought you had laid to rest, of a table surrounded by your own children, or the notion that your family would not give you all of the work … [Read more...]