Do you ever wonder why your husband only cares about his interests and activities? Does he do as much for you as you do for him? Does your good friend consistently ignore what you care about yet go on and on about his own needs? Do you feel unheard even when you take the time to tell your boyfriend what is important to you and how you feel? You might be in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissism, a term that is often bandied about casually, is actually a psychiatric diagnosis … [Read more...]
Helping Adults Cultivate Healthy Friendships
October 10, 2023 By
A recent article in the Washington Post by Ana Homayoun (https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../skills-friendship.../) laid out some rules to help parents encourage their children to develop good relationships with their peers. As I read it, I realized that the guidelines she laid out could also apply to adults. Why, you might ask, am I concerned about adults making friends? After all, don’t we already have them? Well, just like with children for whom making friends is a developmental task, as we … [Read more...]
INFIDELITY: You Can Forgive, But Can You Forget?
May 11, 2022 By
After infidelity, many people sweep their feelings under the rug. Some people go to couples counseling and work through the issues in the marriage that were causing problems that predated the infidelity. Some people stay married and stay angry. Some actually move on emotionally. Recently I have had several calls from people who have said that although they have stayed in the marriage, forgiven their spouse, and really believe that things are better, they cannot forget the infidelity and just … [Read more...]
How to Communicate Better with People You Care About – Part 2
October 9, 2020 By
In the previous blog, I talked about some simple rules for better communication, like avoiding old history and labeling. Today, I Want to add some more complex guidelines that are really useful when trying to navigate a difficult situation with someone you care about. It goes without saying that someone will be more receptive to hearing what you say if you keep your body language open and welcoming. How you look to others tells them how willing you are to communicate. If your arms are … [Read more...]
How to Communicate Better with People You Care About – Part 1
September 10, 2020 By
Recently I was asked to give a talk about how people can communicate better with one another. I was searching my files and found a handout that I have used in my practice for years. It is called The Ten Commandments of Clean Communication. It was given to me by a former mentor, and it has no attribution on it, so I don’t know if she wrote it herself, or if it came from a book she read many years ago. As I looked it over, I thought it was the best set of communication guidelines I have seen, … [Read more...]