Traditionally, at the end of the year, we talk about making resolutions. What are the things we want to do to change our lives? We make a list and start out with good intentions, but within 30 days that list has usually gone into the garbage pail. It’s not that we don’t have a desire to change, it is that the list is too long, not prioritized, and we haven’t figured out the “why,” the real reason we want to do those things. But after a year like 2020, a year of a presidential … [Read more...]
Learning from Loss
April 10, 2017 By
I recently read a wonderful story in the New York Times "Things I Wish I had Known when my Dog Died" called What Emily’s Death Taught Me by Jen A. Miller. It talks about what a person experiences and learns from the death of a beloved pet. In this case, the author is a freelance writer who works at home and is single, so her pet dog Emily was perhaps even more of a beloved companion. The author learned many things following Emily’s death: - Most people will say the wrong thing. They … [Read more...]
Self-Examination: Key To Life After Divorce
October 1, 2013 By
For many, after living as a pair for so long, it’s important to recognize that you are a unique and valuable person on your own. I often tell my clients, “You are a whole person by yourself and not half of anything.” You may have some work to do to get back to recognizing that and the point when you begin to enjoy living life post-divorce may depend on where you are in the timeline of recovery. You may have children to care for, or you may not. You may be under 40, exhilarated and ready to … [Read more...]
Cognitive Therapy: Taking Control of Your Negative Thoughts and Feelings
September 18, 2013 By
Maybe a few of these situations sound familiar? Does bad luck creep into your life often? Do you find it hard to shake off a passing comment from a friend? Do you frequently anticipate aggravating conversations with coworkers? Are you physically tired due to a lack of sleep from feeling depressed and anxious? Do you overreact when your child misbehaves? Your frustrations and feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiousness may seem uncontrollable, but did you know that you could learn tools … [Read more...]
A Person is Not a Puppet: A Quick Look at Emotional Manipulation
September 19, 2012 By
Every teacher can rattle off a list of excuses given by students to get out of taking a test or to excuse missing homework. If you’ve heard someone make that kind of excuse yourself, you probably thought it had no consequences. So what if the dog that ate their homework was stuffed, or they didn’t really study for the test and copied the answers from someone else? No one got hurt, right? Not quite. What if you are the person who handed in all the homework on time, and were completely prepared … [Read more...]