Emotional Intelligence In Business

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   Recently I attended a New Jersey Business and Industry Association Women Leaders Forum. One of the breakout sessions was called “Is Emotional Intelligence a Leader’s Secret Weapon?” While nothing that was said there is new, it is a wonderful reminder that high emotional intelligence (EI) leads to more success in all things: parenting, friendship, volunteer relationships, work success, and personal fulfillment. Why is that? There are four main reasons. • People with higher EI have better … [Read more...]

Reducing the Stigma of a Mental Health Diagnosis

mental help signs

 Mental health professionals and those who work in mental health associations work hard to convince their clients not to worry about what others think of their mental health diagnosis. There are mental health awareness months and events devoted to understanding mental illness and to reducing the stigma that is so prevalent in our society so that those affected will not be afraid to seek treatment. Recently I came across a blog from England (Reduce Mental Health), which had compiled some … [Read more...]

Celebrating PRIDE Month

Pride 2

  June is Pride Month, the time when the LGBTQ community celebrates successes in equality, LGBT rights, and the progress and respect that they have fought for and achieved.   2019 is the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising in New York City, which is considered by some to be the beginning of the gay rights movement. There is a lot of visibility with Pride parades, concerts, and parties, and many words spoken about gay marriage, adoption rights, workplace equality, and other issues.  … [Read more...]

What Is Mindfulness, Anyway?

And Breathe

    Mindfulness has become such a hot buzzword, that it is used all the time.  People refer to it when they talk about medication, or relaxation, or doing yoga.  Recently, I picked up two magazines totally devoted to “Mindfulness” and neither one of them defined what it meant.  These publications talked about improving sleep, reducing stress, and even faith, but never defined what mindfulness is.  So I thought it was time to do that. Essentially, Mindfulness is awareness or focus on … [Read more...]

Great Words to Live By!

Inspiration

 Great Words to Live By! André De Shields, the winner of this year's Tony's for "Best-featured actor in a musical", for his performance in Hadestown, shared his three cardinal rules: “One, surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming. Two, slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be. And three, the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next, so keep climbing.” … [Read more...]

When Children and Teens Have Social Anxiety, How Can Parents Help?

Excluded child

Paula is a pretty, bright and talented high school student.  She is anxious about going out, even with people she knows, believing she might say the wrong thing or do something to embarrass herself.  Sometimes she even worries about whether her friends are really her friends. Shawn is a good athlete. He mostly keeps to himself and has twice turned down chances to be a team captain for soccer.    As much as he would like to have fun with the guys on his team, who not only respect his skills on … [Read more...]

Do You Know the Difference Between Worrying and Problem Solving?

Worrying Woman

 Many people worry by focusing on the problem or situation, rather than thinking about how to make the problem go away or improve the situation that is causing them distress.  When we change our method and focus instead on the solution – the problem-solving aspect of the worrisome situation – we are more able to focus on those things we can change.  Problem-solving moves us toward more constructive alternatives, and has a more positive effect on our mood, while also allowing us to find potential … [Read more...]

Are You Obsessing About Your Spouse’s Affair?

couple split

Many people who have struggled with a spouse’s infidelity, find themselves still thinking about it years, even decades after it happened.  I had one person call me from South Africa and tell me that even though she and her husband had worked things through and were still together many years later, she still found herself thinking about his affair.   Conventional wisdom would have you say to her “Let it go, already!”   But why do people obsess and is there any value in keeping that betrayal … [Read more...]

WOMEN – Are You Taking Care of Yourself?

Often, women do not make time to take care of themselves. We are so busy taking care of others -spouses, children, parents, neighbors, charities – that we find ourselves at the bottom of our “to do” list. A while ago I gave a talk to women on the board of a large charity about this very issue. All agreed that they had to do a better job; one woman, the husband of a physician, hadn’t had a mammogram or pap smear in years and said she just never got to it. While that may be an extreme example, I … [Read more...]

Ten Commandments for Better Relationships

girlfriends of 3

I am often asked how to fix or improve or start relationships. People who are shy often have trouble with small talk and have trouble starting relationships when they are in a new situation. People who have conflictual family or friend relationships will sometimes seek my advice on how to change a negative interaction to a positive one, or how to avoid a similar pitfall in the future. Sometimes there is a boss who is hard to work with and, of course, there are always those clients who have … [Read more...]