How to Communicate Better with People You Care About – Part 2

    In the previous blog, I talked about some simple rules for better communication, like avoiding old history and labeling. Today, I Want to add some more complex guidelines that are really useful when trying to navigate a difficult situation with someone you care about. It goes without saying that someone will be more receptive to hearing what you say if you keep your body language open and welcoming. How you look to others tells them how willing you are to communicate. If your arms are … [Read more...]

How to Communicate Better with People You Care About – Part 1

Recently I was asked to give a talk about how people can communicate better with one another.  I was searching my files and found a handout that I have used in my practice for years.  It is called The Ten Commandments of Clean Communication.  It was given to me by a former mentor, and it has no attribution on it, so I don’t know if she wrote it herself, or if it came from a book she read many years ago.  As I looked it over, I thought it was the best set of communication guidelines I have seen, … [Read more...]

Skip the Chocolates: Take the Relationship Quiz

Valentine’s Day, February 14 has arrived. Are you prepared to celebrate with chocolate and flowers? Or, maybe you’re heading out for a “special” dinner and movie? Dating or married, the pressure is often on to impress. Cupid may or may not strike, but you sure work hard to please your partner on Valentine’s Day. Ironically, the holiday originated in Roman times when the Emperor forbid single men from marrying in order to make what he believed were better soldiers. Not until the 15th century … [Read more...]

Can This Marriage Be Saved?: Strategies for the Struggling Couple

Ask any young couple how long their marriage will last and chances are they will say forever. In the latest Clark University Poll of Emerging Adults, psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, PhD, an expert on emerging adulthood, found that 86 percent of more than 1,000 18- to 29-year-old Americans surveyed expect their marriages to last a lifetime. Yet statistics suggest that many of these newlyweds are blinded by love. According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), the likelihood … [Read more...]

Young Love and A Communication Breakdown

The New York Times January 11th article entitled “The End of Courtship?” by Alex Williams reveals that today’s generation lacks the communication skills needed to find true love and commitment. Thanks to a new "hookup culture" and constant online communication, many 20-somethings are not enjoying the human contact needed to experience empathy, intimacy and understanding – attributions necessary to cultivate healthy relationships with potential life partners. The article talked about how this … [Read more...]