Letting Go of Perfect: Recognizing the Warning Signs of Perfectionism

Part one of a three-part series on perfectionism. When we are at the top of our game, we strive not only to do our best, but to be our best. For some of us, however, being our best goes one step further…we believe that we have to be perfect. In striving for perfection, my friend Lynn kept up a punishing pace for many years. She never left the house without make-up and an appropriate outfit, married a wonderful man, worked a full time job, raised three perfect-looking kids, volunteered for … [Read more...]

Fear of Abandonment: The Lasting Effects of Trauma

Katie is having trouble letting her 14-year-old son do things on his own, like riding his bicycle to school with friends, spending the night at a buddy’s house, or walking home from soccer practice. She knows she should start trusting him to be on his own so he can develop into an independent young man, but she just can’t seem to let go. Katie’s mother wasn’t there for her emotionally growing up. And her two older brothers received all of her mother’s attention, getting special treatment and … [Read more...]

Tips and Techniques for Dealing With the Anxiety of Life Transitions

Fall is coming. The leaves will soon switch colors and temperatures will get cooler. Fall is a season of change, not only for Mother Nature but also for many people adjusting to life transitions, both big and small. Some transitions are chosen such as new careers and home purchases while others are as inevitable as the start of a new school year. Some transitions are traumatic like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. Regardless of the transition, these changes can challenge our … [Read more...]

Is Your Child with Special Needs Challenging Your Relationship?

Anyone who’s been married or in a committed relationship can tell you that trying to blend the needs and priorities of two people to create a happy partnership is no easy feat. Throwing children into the mix makes for even greater challenges as the focus shifts away from you and more time is devoted to the kids. But when one of those children has special needs – such as learning issues, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or falling somewhere on the autism spectrum – the strains … [Read more...]

Inspiration: Some Thoughts on Resilience

Justus Uwayesu is a freshman at Harvard. “So what?” you say. Just another smart young man headed for a successful future. What is so unusual about that? But Mr. Uwaysu is more unusual than the average 22 year old. Orphaned at age three when his parents, illiterate farmers, were killed in the Rwandan genocide that exterminated 800,000 people in 100 days, he was living in a burned out car in a garbage dump at the age of nine.  He scavenged and begged for food during the day, had not bathed in … [Read more...]