I have always valued the work of Angela Duckworth whose book ‘Grit’ talks about how passion and perseverance play a key role in people achieving their goals. So I was interested to read her article in the New York Times about one of the things that successful people have in common. Is it brilliance? Is it a strong work ethic? Is it good luck? No. It is knowing when it is the right time to ask other people for help. It really struck a chord in me because I have been struggling with learning some new computer skills and had just asked someone for assistance in creating a slide deck with new pictures – and the person I asked was a 24-year-old! I was only slightly embarrassed but she was pleased to be asked and very happy to help her teacher learn a new technology and new tricks!
In Duckworth’s article she spoke about Conan O’Brien, who told the Harvard graduating class that he has done nothing alone. She also mentions Nicolai Tangen, chief executive of a large wealth firm, who consistently asks for help from his personal assistant because he trusts her. At the highest echelons of companies, people get together to learn from one another, and professionals have groups where they review cases and ask advice of one another. This does not mean that they are less smart, it means that they know they can benefit from the experience of others.
Duckworth emphasizes that asking for help is an important skill for children to learn and that it helps us not only learn facts but can also assist us to regulate our emotions. College students who ask for help outperform those who do not and cofounding entrepreneurs may do better because they have someone built-in to brainstorm with.
Duckworth says “Do it yourself is no way to live,” and I agree. There are many ways in which do-it-with-the-help-of-others can increase your chances to succeed and thrive. Let me know some times that you have asked for help and how it worked out.