Fall is coming. The leaves will soon switch colors and temperatures will get cooler. Fall is a season of change, not only for Mother Nature but also for many people adjusting to life transitions, both big and small. Some transitions are chosen such as new careers and home purchases while others are as inevitable as the start of a new school year. Some transitions are traumatic like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. Regardless of the transition, these changes can challenge our … [Read more...]
Unplugging from Technology to Reboot Manners
July 13, 2015 By
A few days ago, as I was driving out of a local shopping center, I came upon a women standing in the center of the road texting. She was not walking or moving. She was just standing there texting. Since I did not know which way she might move, I tooted my horn lightly just to let her know that I was going to be driving within a foot of her unmoving body. I didn’t lean on the horn, just a polite soft toot. And what did she do? She turned around and made a rude gesture in my direction. I … [Read more...]
Teaching Tolerance: Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
July 8, 2015 By
On June 1, the beginning of LGBT Pride month, Vanity Fair released its cover featuring the former Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner as a glamorous and confident woman named Caitlyn Jenner. The photo was her first public appearance as a transgender woman. The topic of Bruce’s transition to Caitlyn had been nearly impossible to avoid, as it has been a popular topic in the news and on social media for weeks. As expected, there was and is much controversy – some are shocked and disapprove, yet many … [Read more...]
Is Poor Body Image Ruining Your Day at the Beach?
June 15, 2015 By
On the June cover of People Magazine, readers were introduced to Tess Holiday –the world’s first size 22 super model. Happy in her large size, she’s an unlikely poster girl for a positive self-image. But with summer finally here, Tess may just motivate us to start living by dropping the poor body image, instead of those pounds. Sadly, women of all sizes have a poor self-image that holds them back from shedding the layers and soaking in the sun’s rays. On the quest for the “perfect” fit, women … [Read more...]
Are You a Doormat? Can Assertiveness Help Improve Your Relationships?
May 26, 2015 By
What if your assistant coach bailed on you for the fourth week in a row leaving you alone to handle 35 middle school children playing soccer? Even though he has great coaching skills they’re of no use to you if he’s not there. You know you need to talk to him about his commitment but you keep putting it off. Or, imagine if one of your friends asked you to help her with her garage sale on one of your busiest weekends. Just days before her call, you told her that you were going to be running … [Read more...]
Developing and Keeping Healthy Boundaries
April 27, 2015 By
Spring has arrived, and the event invitations are piling up. Your calendar is getting fuller by the minute. One of the invitations on your table has your heart racing. It’s from your sister who is unable to take no for an answer and has treated you like a doormat for years. Your best friend’s wedding is on the same day as her 10th wedding anniversary party, and you know she is not going to take the news of your decline well. You’re fearful of the call, the conversation, and the hurtful words … [Read more...]
Is Your Child with Special Needs Challenging Your Relationship?
March 30, 2015 By
Anyone who’s been married or in a committed relationship can tell you that trying to blend the needs and priorities of two people to create a happy partnership is no easy feat. Throwing children into the mix makes for even greater challenges as the focus shifts away from you and more time is devoted to the kids. But when one of those children has special needs – such as learning issues, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or falling somewhere on the autism spectrum – the strains … [Read more...]
Sexual Intimacy and The Big Disconnect
February 25, 2015 By
Cupid’s big day has come and gone once again. You may have enjoyed a romantic night out for Valentine’s Day accompanied by flowers, cards, candy or jewelry. But did you bring that passion back into the bedroom? Unfortunately, for many the answer is no, and although many couples express their love by going on special dates, holding hands, kind gestures, and exchanging gifts, they often lack true sexual intimacy. Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a … [Read more...]
Is It Ever Okay To Keep a Secret?
January 29, 2015 By
We all have secrets we keep locked away from others. For some, the secrets may be small and harmless, but for others, they may be great enough to cause damage to personal relationships. I often talk about the topic of secrets in therapy with my clients. What people tend to not realize is that harboring a secret could be hurting you just as much as revealing it, if not more. Secrets, even small ones, can prevent relationships and friendships from being truly close. We keep secrets for all … [Read more...]
5 Factors that Promote Resilience
November 1, 2014 By
Recently, I gave a talk to an audience of parents and teachers on resilience, the ability to bounce back, to handle life’s daily challenges, and to overcome adversity. I discussed the five factors that are important to develop resilience: connection to others, communication, confidence, competence and commitment, and control. And I recommended the things that could be done to help children and teens develop resilience - things like taking risks (appropriate to their age, of course), making … [Read more...]