On June 1, the beginning of LGBT Pride month, Vanity Fair released its cover featuring the former Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner as a glamorous and confident woman named Caitlyn Jenner. The photo was her first public appearance as a transgender woman. The topic of Bruce’s transition to Caitlyn had been nearly impossible to avoid, as it has been a popular topic in the news and on social media for weeks. As expected, there was and is much controversy – some are shocked and disapprove, yet many … [Read more...]
Is Poor Body Image Ruining Your Day at the Beach?
June 15, 2015 By
On the June cover of People Magazine, readers were introduced to Tess Holiday –the world’s first size 22 super model. Happy in her large size, she’s an unlikely poster girl for a positive self-image. But with summer finally here, Tess may just motivate us to start living by dropping the poor body image, instead of those pounds. Sadly, women of all sizes have a poor self-image that holds them back from shedding the layers and soaking in the sun’s rays. On the quest for the “perfect” fit, women … [Read more...]
Are You a Doormat? Can Assertiveness Help Improve Your Relationships?
May 26, 2015 By
What if your assistant coach bailed on you for the fourth week in a row leaving you alone to handle 35 middle school children playing soccer? Even though he has great coaching skills they’re of no use to you if he’s not there. You know you need to talk to him about his commitment but you keep putting it off. Or, imagine if one of your friends asked you to help her with her garage sale on one of your busiest weekends. Just days before her call, you told her that you were going to be running … [Read more...]
Developing and Keeping Healthy Boundaries
April 27, 2015 By
Spring has arrived, and the event invitations are piling up. Your calendar is getting fuller by the minute. One of the invitations on your table has your heart racing. It’s from your sister who is unable to take no for an answer and has treated you like a doormat for years. Your best friend’s wedding is on the same day as her 10th wedding anniversary party, and you know she is not going to take the news of your decline well. You’re fearful of the call, the conversation, and the hurtful words … [Read more...]
Is Your Child with Special Needs Challenging Your Relationship?
March 30, 2015 By
Anyone who’s been married or in a committed relationship can tell you that trying to blend the needs and priorities of two people to create a happy partnership is no easy feat. Throwing children into the mix makes for even greater challenges as the focus shifts away from you and more time is devoted to the kids. But when one of those children has special needs – such as learning issues, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or falling somewhere on the autism spectrum – the strains … [Read more...]
Sexual Intimacy and The Big Disconnect
February 25, 2015 By
Cupid’s big day has come and gone once again. You may have enjoyed a romantic night out for Valentine’s Day accompanied by flowers, cards, candy or jewelry. But did you bring that passion back into the bedroom? Unfortunately, for many the answer is no, and although many couples express their love by going on special dates, holding hands, kind gestures, and exchanging gifts, they often lack true sexual intimacy. Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a … [Read more...]
Is It Ever Okay To Keep a Secret?
January 29, 2015 By
We all have secrets we keep locked away from others. For some, the secrets may be small and harmless, but for others, they may be great enough to cause damage to personal relationships. I often talk about the topic of secrets in therapy with my clients. What people tend to not realize is that harboring a secret could be hurting you just as much as revealing it, if not more. Secrets, even small ones, can prevent relationships and friendships from being truly close. We keep secrets for all … [Read more...]
5 Factors that Promote Resilience
November 1, 2014 By
Recently, I gave a talk to an audience of parents and teachers on resilience, the ability to bounce back, to handle life’s daily challenges, and to overcome adversity. I discussed the five factors that are important to develop resilience: connection to others, communication, confidence, competence and commitment, and control. And I recommended the things that could be done to help children and teens develop resilience - things like taking risks (appropriate to their age, of course), making … [Read more...]
Inspiration: Some Thoughts on Resilience
November 1, 2014 By
Justus Uwayesu is a freshman at Harvard. “So what?” you say. Just another smart young man headed for a successful future. What is so unusual about that? But Mr. Uwaysu is more unusual than the average 22 year old. Orphaned at age three when his parents, illiterate farmers, were killed in the Rwandan genocide that exterminated 800,000 people in 100 days, he was living in a burned out car in a garbage dump at the age of nine. He scavenged and begged for food during the day, had not bathed in … [Read more...]
Discover Your Passion and Improve Your Mental Health
August 20, 2014 By
What role does passion play in our lives? It’s a question I’ve given much thought to lately. I recently had the pleasure of meeting a professional book reviewer and writer at a dinner with friends. It was wonderful to sit and talk with someone who shared my love for reading, and our conversation reminded me of the importance of having a passion and how it brings great meaning to our lives. A passion is something you want to dig into more deeply. It doesn’t matter if the passion … [Read more...]