Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? For most of us, that is no surprise at this time of year. From Halloween thru Thanksgiving, and then on to the commercial overload of holiday parties and shopping, I hear more about the stresses of the holidays than the joy of them. People feel the need to entertain, plan vacations, buy gifts, cook, and bake, and on top of that – see family! But if you are at your wit's end, and can’t even see that last item on your “to-do” list, try some of the … [Read more...]
Thoughts On Grieving
October 19, 2022 By
Recently I read a very slim volume called Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie. Having grown up in a family where my mother was a widow three times, and where we, as children, lost our father and two stepfathers, grief seemed like a constant in our lives. As a result, I have always been interested in the effect of parental loss on children and the family, and the degree to which that kind of trauma shapes the future of the family members. I did not expect a lot from Adichie’s 67-page book … [Read more...]
Are You a Perfectionist?
August 12, 2022 By
To be perfectionistic means to have very high standards and expectations. Is that bad, you ask? Not necessarily. Although perfectionism can be adaptive when it leads to high productivity and life satisfaction, it can be maladaptive when it leads to being self-critical, angry, or not having a life balance between work and recreation. Joan is an example of someone who does not recognize that she is a perfectionist. Her children’s clothes must always be ironed and she must look perfect in … [Read more...]
When Feeling Bad Is Good
June 2, 2022 By
Many years ago, I read a book by Ellen McGrath with the same title as this blog. McGrath’s focus was on recognizing that the early signs of depression could be a good thing, a warning sign that help is needed. Recently, I revisited this idea since so many people are talking about the depression they feel arising from world and national events that are troubling. I think all of us can agree that war, isolation from a pandemic, and lack of civility in politics does not make the world an easier … [Read more...]
INFIDELITY: You Can Forgive, But Can You Forget?
May 11, 2022 By
After infidelity, many people sweep their feelings under the rug. Some people go to couples counseling and work through the issues in the marriage that were causing problems that predated the infidelity. Some people stay married and stay angry. Some actually move on emotionally. Recently I have had several calls from people who have said that although they have stayed in the marriage, forgiven their spouse, and really believe that things are better, they cannot forget the infidelity and just … [Read more...]