Part one of a three-part series on perfectionism. When we are at the top of our game, we strive not only to do our best, but to be our best. For some of us, however, being our best goes one step further…we believe that we have to be perfect. In striving for perfection, my friend Lynn kept up a punishing pace for many years. She never left the house without make-up and an appropriate outfit, married a wonderful man, worked a full time job, raised three perfect-looking kids, volunteered for … [Read more...]
Love and Loss at the Holidays
November 22, 2015 By
As I pass the one year anniversary of my mother’s death, I am sad that my mom will not be with us for the holidays and keenly aware of her absence. For the last 18 months, my mother – when she was alive and when she was not – was my responsibility. I was the one who saw her the most, she lived with me for the last six months of her life and then, as her executor, it was my responsibility to carry out her wishes. My brother and sister helped when they could, but I was the local child and then … [Read more...]
Fear of Abandonment: The Lasting Effects of Trauma
October 21, 2015 By
Katie is having trouble letting her 14-year-old son do things on his own, like riding his bicycle to school with friends, spending the night at a buddy’s house, or walking home from soccer practice. She knows she should start trusting him to be on his own so he can develop into an independent young man, but she just can’t seem to let go. Katie’s mother wasn’t there for her emotionally growing up. And her two older brothers received all of her mother’s attention, getting special treatment and … [Read more...]
To Live and Lie for Love: Reasons People Lie in Relationships
September 29, 2015 By
It’s no lie — we all occasionally lie in our relationships. Whether it’s the passing comment after a new haircut “Your new look is great!” or the disastrous date night that ends in “I’ll call you soon”. These lies are everywhere, both the small ones we call “little white lies” and the big ones that can blow up a relationship. Sometimes our lies become habitual, weaving themselves into the fabric of our everyday relationships to such an extent that they go unnoticed by a partner or spouse. … [Read more...]
Tips and Techniques for Dealing With the Anxiety of Life Transitions
September 5, 2015 By
Fall is coming. The leaves will soon switch colors and temperatures will get cooler. Fall is a season of change, not only for Mother Nature but also for many people adjusting to life transitions, both big and small. Some transitions are chosen such as new careers and home purchases while others are as inevitable as the start of a new school year. Some transitions are traumatic like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. Regardless of the transition, these changes can challenge our … [Read more...]