Valentine’s Day is over. Perhaps you got flowers, candy, or even jewelry. While these are lovely gifts, they do not have the staying power to improve and nurture a relationship. So what can you do to make sure that you put as much effort into your most important relationship as you do into your job or your favorite hobby? Recently, a young client shared his insight about how to make his marriage better. He noted that he had always seen the marriage as a game of “see who does the most first.” … [Read more...]
Letting Go of Perfect: Letting Go of Perfectionism for Good
January 27, 2016 By
Part 3 of my "Letting Go of Perfect" series. Well, we are not even into Spring and I would bet that most of us have either thrown our New Year’s resolutions in the trash, given up on them, or didn’t even bother to make any. Part of the reason we do that is that they are too big, too hard, and set the bar too high. In many ways our resolutions are a lot like the things we say to ourselves about being perfect. We may try so hard to be perfect, to do things perfectly, to aspire to perfection, … [Read more...]
Letting Go of Perfect: How Perfectionism Hurts Children
December 29, 2015 By
This blog is Part Two of a three-part series on perfectionism. Most parents would feel proud if they thought they had the “perfect” child. But few look at the downside of perfectionism and how striving for it can hurt children. In today’s competitive environment, children cannot just be perfect on paper, amassing a large digital resume good grades and extracurricular activities. They need to have real skills to navigate the ups and down of teacher demands, changing friendships, emotional … [Read more...]
Letting Go of Perfect: Recognizing the Warning Signs of Perfectionism
November 22, 2015 By
Part one of a three-part series on perfectionism. When we are at the top of our game, we strive not only to do our best, but to be our best. For some of us, however, being our best goes one step further…we believe that we have to be perfect. In striving for perfection, my friend Lynn kept up a punishing pace for many years. She never left the house without make-up and an appropriate outfit, married a wonderful man, worked a full time job, raised three perfect-looking kids, volunteered for … [Read more...]
Love and Loss at the Holidays
November 22, 2015 By
As I pass the one year anniversary of my mother’s death, I am sad that my mom will not be with us for the holidays and keenly aware of her absence. For the last 18 months, my mother – when she was alive and when she was not – was my responsibility. I was the one who saw her the most, she lived with me for the last six months of her life and then, as her executor, it was my responsibility to carry out her wishes. My brother and sister helped when they could, but I was the local child and then … [Read more...]