Are You a Doormat? Can Assertiveness Help Improve Your Relationships?

What if your assistant coach bailed on you for the fourth week in a row leaving you alone to handle 35 middle school children playing soccer? Even though he has great coaching skills they’re of no use to you if he’s not there. You know you need to talk to him about his commitment but you keep putting it off. Or, imagine if one of your friends asked you to help her with her garage sale on one of your busiest weekends. Just days before her call, you told her that you were going to be running … [Read more...]

Developing and Keeping Healthy Boundaries

Spring has arrived, and the event invitations are piling up. Your calendar is getting fuller by the minute. One of the invitations on your table has your heart racing. It’s from your sister who is unable to take no for an answer and has treated you like a doormat for years. Your best friend’s wedding is on the same day as her 10th wedding anniversary party, and you know she is not going to take the news of your decline well. You’re fearful of the call, the conversation, and the hurtful words … [Read more...]

Is Your Child with Special Needs Challenging Your Relationship?

Anyone who’s been married or in a committed relationship can tell you that trying to blend the needs and priorities of two people to create a happy partnership is no easy feat. Throwing children into the mix makes for even greater challenges as the focus shifts away from you and more time is devoted to the kids. But when one of those children has special needs – such as learning issues, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or falling somewhere on the autism spectrum – the strains … [Read more...]

Sexual Intimacy and The Big Disconnect

Cupid’s big day has come and gone once again. You may have enjoyed a romantic night out for Valentine’s Day accompanied by flowers, cards, candy or jewelry. But did you bring that passion back into the bedroom? Unfortunately, for many the answer is no, and although many couples express their love by going on special dates, holding hands, kind gestures, and exchanging gifts, they often lack true sexual intimacy. Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a … [Read more...]

Is It Ever Okay To Keep a Secret?

We all have secrets we keep locked away from others. For some, the secrets may be small and harmless, but for others, they may be great enough to cause damage to personal relationships. I often talk about the topic of secrets in therapy with my clients. What people tend to not realize is that harboring a secret could be hurting you just as much as revealing it, if not more. Secrets, even small ones, can prevent relationships and friendships from being truly close. We keep secrets for all … [Read more...]