Thoughts On Grieving

Recently I read a very slim volume called Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie.  Having grown up in a family where my mother was a widow three times, and where we, as children, lost our father and two stepfathers, grief seemed like a constant in our lives.  As a result, I have always been interested in the effect of parental loss on children and the family, and the degree to which that kind of trauma shapes the future of the family members. I did not expect a lot from Adichie’s 67-page book … [Read more...]

Delayed Grief

Recently I read an article in the New York Times by Nicole Johnson called” My Mother Died When I was 7.  I’m Grieving 37 Years Later  (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/17/well/family/delayed-grief.html ) it took me back to an experience I had many years ago. I was engaged to get married and was observing the death of my father by lighting a memorial candle.  Suddenly, I was overcome with sadness and tears and felt overwhelmed with the thought that my father would never know my wonderful … [Read more...]

Learning from Loss

I recently read a wonderful story in the New York Times  "Things I Wish I had Known when my Dog Died" called What Emily’s Death Taught Me by Jen A. Miller.  It talks about what a person experiences and learns from the death of a beloved pet.  In this case, the author is a freelance writer who works at home and is single, so her pet dog Emily was perhaps even more of a beloved companion. The author learned many things following Emily’s death: - Most people will say the wrong thing.  They … [Read more...]

Love and Loss at the Holidays

As I pass the one year anniversary of my mother’s death, I am sad that my mom will not be with us for the holidays and keenly aware of her absence. For the last 18 months, my mother – when she was alive and when she was not – was my responsibility. I was the one who saw her the most, she lived with me for the last six months of her life and then, as her executor, it was my responsibility to carry out her wishes. My brother and sister helped when they could, but I was the local child and then … [Read more...]