“What is the matter with you!” Judy says to her friend Brittney. “I take you to Red Bank for lunch with some friends from school and you don’t say a word all afternoon. I feel like whenever I go out with you if other people are around I have to be the one to make all of the conversation. “ Judy may sound angry, but in fact, she is worried about her friend. They are entering high school and Judy wants to widen her social circle but does not want to leave Brittney behind. But no matter who it … [Read more...]
5 Ways (& Whys) To Put Yourself First
December 29, 2016 By
Hillel says “If I am not for myself who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I?” In other words, we have an obligation to take care of our world, our community, and our family, but it is also appropriate to take care of ourselves. As the New Year approaches, and many of us think about resolutions for 2017, I loved a short article by Karen Baskin on the meQuilibrium website called 5 Ways (and Whys) to Put Yourself First and have excerpted it below. We know that most of us have … [Read more...]
Warning Signs of an Abuser
August 5, 2016 By
Over 15 years ago, the newspaper columnist “Dear Abby” printed a list of characteristics of men who were likely to be abusive in relationships. I saved it and have given copies to many women and teenage girls. Specifically, I gave it to those females who said they thought jealousy and controlling behavior were signs of love, whether in a marriage or in a dating relationship. An example would be Steffi, whose husband slowly separated her from her friends and family, took her paycheck every … [Read more...]
Are You an Introvert?
August 3, 2016 By
Recently I met with a young man, a professional in a scientific field, who was concerned that his shyness and introversion were hurting him in his profession. Even in a field where hard data is analyzed and replicated, he felt that his personality or ”nature”, as he described it, was hurting him. He preferred to listen and observe in meetings rather than fight for air time to speak. He was not the first one to propose ideas or champion his own projects. As a result, he got negative … [Read more...]
Can You Bounce Back?
May 10, 2016 By
Can you bounce back…after something goes wrong, after your kids make you crazy, after a difficult phone call with a client, after a day filled with anxiety-provoking events? The ability to bounce back is called resilience and it is key to managing our lives with strength and skill. Many of us are so busy trying to achieve, trying to manage our children’s lives, trying to be the best at what we do, that we feel we are in a perpetual state of stress. If we do not come down from that state, we … [Read more...]