Can You Bounce Back?

Can you bounce back…after something goes wrong, after your kids make you crazy, after a difficult phone call with a client, after a day filled with anxiety-provoking events? The ability to bounce back is called resilience and it is key to managing our lives with strength and skill. Many of us are so busy trying to achieve, trying to manage our children’s lives, trying to be the best at what we do, that we feel we are in a perpetual state of stress. If we do not come down from that state, we … [Read more...]

11 Ways to Reconnect with Your Partner & Strengthen Your Relationship

Holding Hands

Valentine’s Day is over. Perhaps you got flowers, candy, or even jewelry. While these are lovely gifts, they do not have the staying power to improve and nurture a relationship. So what can you do to make sure that you put as much effort into your most important relationship as you do into your job or your favorite hobby? Recently, a young client shared his insight about how to make his marriage better. He noted that he had always seen the marriage as a game of “see who does the most first.” … [Read more...]

Letting Go of Perfect: Letting Go of Perfectionism for Good

Woman cutting Grass

Part 3 of my "Letting Go of Perfect" series. Well, we are not even into Spring and I would bet that most of us have either thrown our New Year’s resolutions in the trash, given up on them, or didn’t even bother to make any. Part of the reason we do that is that they are too big, too hard, and set the bar too high. In many ways our resolutions are a lot like the things we say to ourselves about being perfect. We may try so hard to be perfect, to do things perfectly, to aspire to perfection, … [Read more...]

Letting Go of Perfect: How Perfectionism Hurts Children

Screen Shot 2015-12-04 at 9.20.01 AM

This blog is Part Two of a three-part series on perfectionism. Most parents would feel proud if they thought they had the “perfect” child. But few look at the downside of perfectionism and how striving for it can hurt children. In today’s competitive environment, children cannot just be perfect on paper, amassing a large digital resume good grades and extracurricular activities. They need to have real skills to navigate the ups and down of teacher demands, changing friendships, emotional … [Read more...]

Letting Go of Perfect: Recognizing the Warning Signs of Perfectionism

Recognizing the Warning Signs of Perfectionism

Part one of a three-part series on perfectionism. When we are at the top of our game, we strive not only to do our best, but to be our best. For some of us, however, being our best goes one step further…we believe that we have to be perfect. In striving for perfection, my friend Lynn kept up a punishing pace for many years. She never left the house without make-up and an appropriate outfit, married a wonderful man, worked a full time job, raised three perfect-looking kids, volunteered for … [Read more...]

Love and Loss at the Holidays

Love and Loss at the Holidays

As I pass the one year anniversary of my mother’s death, I am sad that my mom will not be with us for the holidays and keenly aware of her absence. For the last 18 months, my mother – when she was alive and when she was not – was my responsibility. I was the one who saw her the most, she lived with me for the last six months of her life and then, as her executor, it was my responsibility to carry out her wishes. My brother and sister helped when they could, but I was the local child and then … [Read more...]

Fear of Abandonment: The Lasting Effects of Trauma

222393226_c1c042f3fd_z

Katie is having trouble letting her 14-year-old son do things on his own, like riding his bicycle to school with friends, spending the night at a buddy’s house, or walking home from soccer practice. She knows she should start trusting him to be on his own so he can develop into an independent young man, but she just can’t seem to let go. Katie’s mother wasn’t there for her emotionally growing up. And her two older brothers received all of her mother’s attention, getting special treatment and … [Read more...]

To Live and Lie for Love: Reasons People Lie in Relationships

When Couples Lie in a Relationship

It’s no lie — we all occasionally lie in our relationships. Whether it’s the passing comment after a new haircut “Your new look is great!” or the disastrous date night that ends in “I’ll call you soon”. These lies are everywhere, both the small ones we call “little white lies” and the big ones that can blow up a relationship. Sometimes our lies become habitual, weaving themselves into the fabric of our everyday relationships to such an extent that they go unnoticed by a partner or spouse. … [Read more...]

Tips and Techniques for Dealing With the Anxiety of Life Transitions

Tips and Techniques for Dealing With the Anxiety of Life Transitions

Fall is coming. The leaves will soon switch colors and temperatures will get cooler. Fall is a season of change, not only for Mother Nature but also for many people adjusting to life transitions, both big and small. Some transitions are chosen such as new careers and home purchases while others are as inevitable as the start of a new school year. Some transitions are traumatic like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. Regardless of the transition, these changes can challenge our … [Read more...]

Unplugging from Technology to Reboot Manners

Unplugging from Technology to Reboot Manners

A few days ago, as I was driving out of a local shopping center, I came upon a women standing in the center of the road texting.  She was not walking or moving.  She was just standing there texting.  Since I did not know which way she might move, I tooted my horn lightly just to let her know that I was going to be driving within a foot of her unmoving body.  I didn’t lean on the horn, just  a polite soft toot.  And what did she do?  She turned around and made a rude gesture in my direction.  I … [Read more...]