Remember when you were a kid and played King of the Hill? Or you were playing with dolls and one person always insisted hers was the Queen of the Castle? Well, control issues are about that. When one person insists on always being King of the Hill or Queen of the castle, others are reduced to secondary roles. That raises a whole series of questions, for example: Do you prefer to be subservient? Does the secondary position make you feel less valued? Would you prefer to be King or Queen … [Read more...]
Archives for September 2012
Understanding Anxiety Disorders
September 19, 2012 By
Getting sweaty palms and “butterflies” in the stomach right before an important job interview, a big speech, a first date or any challenging situation is normal. Anxiety disorders, however, are medical illnesses that differ dramatically from normal feelings of nervousness. The symptoms of these disorders often occur without any warning and can actually interfere with one’s life. Anxiety is the most common medical illness in the U.S., afflicting upwards of 20 million Americans. If left … [Read more...]
A Person is Not a Puppet: A Quick Look at Emotional Manipulation
September 19, 2012 By
Every teacher can rattle off a list of excuses given by students to get out of taking a test or to excuse missing homework. If you’ve heard someone make that kind of excuse yourself, you probably thought it had no consequences. So what if the dog that ate their homework was stuffed, or they didn’t really study for the test and copied the answers from someone else? No one got hurt, right? Not quite. What if you are the person who handed in all the homework on time, and were completely prepared … [Read more...]
Looking for Love in All the Right Places
September 19, 2012 By
RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALWAYS A TIMELY ISSUE ESPECIALLY AS THE GRAY DAYS OF WINTER GIVE WAY TO SPRING AND OUR “FANCIES TURN TO THOUGHTS OF LOVE”! So often in relationship counseling I see people blaming their partners instead of looking inside themselves. I hope this article encourages spring cleaning of our relationship skills as well as our houses!! Spring has arrived and many people’s thought turn to love and relationships. There are many obvious advantages to finding a relationship partner – … [Read more...]
It Takes Two – A Way To Understand Relationship Conflicts
September 19, 2012 By
RELATIONSHIPS ARE SELDOM AS SIMPLE AS WE WOULD LIKE. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends and former partners. Our relationships with our partners are colored by our own personal legacies. We often react to our partners as if they were someone else – and most of the time this causes conflict in the relationship. After all, when we entered into a primary relationship we expected love, nurturance, and validation just for being who we are. … [Read more...]